Crazy Friday

Gotta luv my job!! Patient assignment today consisted of 2 detox wiggleworms. However one of my patients was rather entertaining: singing the Gambler and Copa Cabana all day long over and over and over again. I was cracking up all day long. Reminded me of the good "ole" days.. STB you got some good competition here ;)... yeah I could have used some whiskey in my coffee too. Probably would have had more fun....Would you drunk folks quite fallin off the barstools and cracking your heads???

Beer Blessing

As we move into our friday, more importantly into the weekend,

lets take a moment for a prayer!!

Read it aloud. Loud and proud as you exit your workplace this friday evening!!

AHEM!!! Repeat after me!!!!

Our Lager,

Which art in barrels,

Hallowed be thy drink,

Thy will be drunk

(I will be drunk)

At home as I am in the tavern,

Give us this day our foamy head,

And forgive us our spillages,

As we forgive those who spill upon us,

And lead us not to incarceration,

But deliver us from hangovers,

For thine is the beer,

The bitter and the lager,

Forever

And Ever.

Barmen

***Have a good and safe weekend everyone!!!***

Hangover Ratings: Does any of this sound somewhat familiar?
1 star hangover *
No pain. No real feeling of illness.. Your sleep last night was a mere disco nap which is giving you a whole lot of misplaced energy. Be glad that you are able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 10 bottles of water and still feel this way. Even vegetarians are craving a Cheeseburger and a side of fries.

2 star hangover **
Slight headache. Don't feel sick, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you have the attention span and mental capacity of a stapler. The coffee you chug to try and remain focused is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which is craving a full English breakfast. Last night has wreaked havoc on your bowels and even though you have a nice demeanor about the office, you are costing your employer valuable money because all you really can handle is aimlessly surfing the net and writing junk e-mails.

3 star hangover ***
Definite headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely a space cadet and so not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the random gin shots you did with your alcoholic friends after the bouncer kicked you out at 1:45 a.m. Life would be better right now if you were in your bed with a dozen donuts and a liter of coke watching Good Morning with Richard and Judy. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 2 Sausage Rolls and a liter of diet coke - yet you haven't peed once.

4 star hangover ****
Your head is throbbing and you can't speak too quickly or else you might honk. You have lost the will to live. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you missed an oh-so crucial spot shaving, (girls, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars), your teeth have sweaters, your eyes look like one big veinand your hair style makes you look like a reject from the class picture of Moss side secondary school circa 1976. You would give a weeks pay for one the following: 1. Home time, 2. A duvet and somewhere to be alone, or 3. A time machine so you could go back and NOT have gone out the night before.

5 star hangover (aka Dante's 4th Circle of Hell) *****
You have a second heartbeat in your head which is actually scaring the employee who sits next to you. Death seems pretty good right now. You can't focus as your eyes are scrunched up against the overpowering glare from your computer screen Rancid vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore, staining your shirt and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth, at least you think it's toothpaste crust. You don't give a damn either way. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva and your tongue is suffocating you. You'd cry but that would take the last of the moisture left in your body. Talking is not an option. Your boss doesn't even get mad at you and your co-workers think that your dog just died because you look so pathetic. You should have called in sick because all you can manage to do is breathe....very gently.

Mhmmm sure we can all relate to at least one of the above!!

Full MoOn

Popular legend has it that the full moon brings out the worst in people: more violence, more suicides, more accidents, more aggression. (Just ask a nurse....Trust us it does!!!) The influence of the moon and behavior has been called "The Lunar Effect" or "The Transylvania Effect." The belief that the full moon causes mental disorders and strange behavior was widespread throughout Europe in the middle ages. Even the word "lunacy" meaning "insanity" comes from the Latin word for "moon."

As we note the full moon is upon us! As we venture thoughout our day, keep in mind the adverse effects the moon has on us. Beware and Becareful!!!

Whatever you do.......DON'T DROP THE DRINKS!!!!!!!!!

Finally Some Good News For The Alcoholics!!!

While the news for smokers is still bad (smoking is associated with an increased risk of various diseases), the moderate drinker got some good news. According to research done by The American Cancer Society, Oxford University, and the World Health Organization; middle-aged and older men and women, who drink about one alcoholic drink a day have slightly lower overall death rates compared to nondrinkers. Wow what a concept!! Drink up!!